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If there was ever something to be thankful about, it would be toilet paper. That is why people take so seriously the subject of which way the roll should be displayed. I wrote about this more than a dozen years ago and public opinion hasn’t changed.

Last week, 67.5% of those who participated in an Eastern Shore Post survey said toilet paper should come off the roll from the top or over the roll. Yippee! My sentiment exactly. Twenty percent didn’t care or had conflicting family opinions, and 12.5% wrote that the paper should be dispensed from under the roll.

Everyone was happy toilet paper was invented. Oh, there was one guy acted as if he’d never heard of it. But he was funning me. Just say, “No!” to corncobs and printed catalogs.

People think broken hearts are tough to overcome, but try never having toilet paper again. The ancient Romans “had a sponge on the end of a long stick that was shared by everyone in the community. When not in use, that stick stayed in a bucket of heavily salted seawater in the communal bathroom.” I read that on the World Wide Web.

Thank you, God, for toilet paper. 

Linda Nicola, of Colonial Manor Inn, in Onancock, took time out to enlighten those nonbelievers. “The toilet paper always goes over the top. It’s easier to unroll. I put little designs at the end of the roll.  The point, a little sailboat, a diamond. I am a professional innkeeper after all.” Lindas are so smart.

Victoria Bundick, of Oakland Park, near Exmore, was in agreement. “The toilet paper should come off over the roll not having touched the wall or anything else; under just isn’t right.” Theresa Fiege, of Onancock, said, “The toilet paper should come off from over the roll, because that is the way it is better accessible.” 

Jamie Replogle, of Belle Haven, said. “Always over the roll. (It was) just how I was raised, I guess.” Harry Rivell, of Cape Charles, wrote, “Over the roll. Involves less muscular dexterity as you don’t have to reach down searching for the end of the roll … There has to have been a government study on this at some time that would verify my analysis.”

Hmm. I searched for one and learned that the 1891 patent for the toilet paper roll stated that the end of the roll should be hanging off the exterior.” That means OVER! 

According to a website, Dr. Gilda Carle, a renowned psychotherapist and consultant for Cottonelle, says, Overachievers, Type A personalities, those who take charge, and are go-getters, choose over the top for their roll and those who are laid-back and seek relationships with strong foundations go the other way. Can you guess her opinion on the matter? Yep, I think she is one of those under-people.

Nicki Tiffany, of Cape Charles, used her common sense. “Definitely OVER because it is easier to find in the dark!!” Michael Stephano, of Cashville, was equally brilliant. “Off the top. Are you savages?” he asked. John Boddie, of Onancock, said, “Toilet paper should always come off over the roll – the way that God intended it to do.”

Beth Calder, of Cape Charles, also said, “Over the roll, as the manufacturer intended. Toilet paper with a design can only be seen if the paper comes over the roll.” Good point, Beth. 

I’m not going to drag my coworkers into this except to say that 75% of those who answered said “OVER.” 

There were others who thought logically too. Wendy of Accomack answered, “The toilet paper rolling over or under is a matter of personal preference and should be determined by the person refilling the empty holder.” I’ll go with that since one can always fix it while they are resting on the throne. Sheila Spelman, of Onancock, also had wise words. “As long as there is sufficient paper on the roll to handle the task at hand, I care not which way it rolls.” 

Amy Eckard, of Temperanceville, had the perfect solution, “I have an inverted L stand that allows the paper to come off either way.” Okay, so we have it all worked out. However, what brand is the most superior toilet paper and, as Amy asked, “Should the seat by up or down?” I know the correct answers. Do you?