Taxes Paid, But Just

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Dear Editor:

I want to inform everyone that my taxes for 2020 are paid, and, believe you me, they are lucky to get it!

Because of my shattered financial condition due to federal laws, state laws, county laws, city laws, corporate laws, liquor laws, mother-in-laws, father-in-laws, and all the other political out-laws, ADEQ, OSHA, DOT, DPS, FBI, CIA, and other assorted alphabet agencies (no offense), I am compelled to pay a county tax, state tax, income tax, fuel tax, light tax, liquor tax, tobacco tax, sales tax, tire tax, food tax, tax on that tax, and federal and local excise tax.

They tax my toilet paper, then tax my sewage tax.

I am required to get a business license, car license, hunting license, fishing license, concealed carry license, automobile license, a motorcycle license, not to mention a marriage license and four dog licenses.

For my own safety and peace of mind, I am required to carry life insurance, property insurance, liability insurance, disability insurance, accident insurance, unemployment insurance, fire and theft insurance, hospitalization insurance, Social Security insurance, title insurance, and insurance to protect my Smith & Wesson and Colt insurance.

My life is so governed between laws, taxes, and insurance, that it’s no easy matter for me to figure out who I should pay first. I’m inspected, expected, requested, suspected, rejected, dejected, neglected and perplexed.

I can honestly tell you that, except for a miracle that happened a couple of months ago, I could not have paid these extortion payments.

That wolf that has been knocking at my door for the past few months, well, she got pregnant and had nine pups on my back porch. I sold them last week so I had a few extra bucks this month and paid my taxes.

John Mann, Onley

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